i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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