Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
