Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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