I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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