I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
