dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
