brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
