I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
