I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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