I want to walk on stilts...naked
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
