Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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