it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
A bitchslap is in order.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
