I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
