I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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