i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
