You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
