forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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