Dual....:-)
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
