so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
