But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
