What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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