I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
