make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
