remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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