You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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