hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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