This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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