I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
