Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
