If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
