Umm I'm too high to move.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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