I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dear god my vagina.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
