I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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