you guys were way drunker than both of me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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