Cold hands, warm shart.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
