Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
