i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
