Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize