So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
