Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
