he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
