You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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