Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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