either way he was missing a nipple.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize