So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Semen is not good for contacts.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
