the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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