Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
