Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
