I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
