capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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