He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
