i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
