Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
