i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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