god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
