my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize