I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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