I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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